You Do You, Mama.

by dubayfamily

In a world where everyone is telling you to be everything… do you, Mama.

For the past year and a half, I’ve been doing things because I had to, to survive. To provide for my family, because I have a talent – and it would be a “waste not to pursue it”. Doing just that, nearly killed me.

You don’t have to be something to everyone, friend.

In doing so, you’ll find yourself worn so thin you won’t even shower. You’ll despise your phone, an incoming text from a well meaning friend that is just too much to answer. Another person asking advice, while your child tugs on your leg – begging for one more strawberry.

You’ll find yourself too tired to love your husband, who is the SECOND person in line for your love, beyond God. He’ll still kiss you at night, and give you your space… he’ll pick up the slack when you were too busy doing what everyone else told you to be doing. He’ll still love you, while you’ve become a person you secretly hate. A “busy body” serving everyone else, but yourself and immediate family.

I let others take the reigns for far too long, because I couldn’t say No.

I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to “help” my family by bringing in an extra hundred dollars, even though I knew the work load would be damaging at the time.

I couldn’t NOT help that person, who needs encouragement, advice, or a friend. Extending my reach far beyond what I was truly capable of, and losing time with those who matter MOST because I couldn’t keep my priorities straight.

When you have anxiety, everything is a priority. When you’re not intentional about who + what deserve your time, you no longer own it.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately as to Owning Alpine Baby Co… and why on Earth I stepped away. This post, is here to answer that very question, but also to hopefully speak to those “hustlin” Moms who can’t keep their heads on straight… because I was one of them.

On May 1st, 2017 my beautiful seamstress purchased Alpine Baby Co from me, with an owner financed loan for the next 3 years. I am still a part of this business, and encourage everyone to support Heather’s family of seven… although I’m no longer full-time, or even part-time in operations.

I felt God pulling at my heart for the past 6 months, to pass the torch and rest.

Between my personal health taking a toll…  “arthritis” wrecking my knee (still am not fully convinced) + ability to work out (or even walk some days), and my depression/anxiety causing havoc on my mental health… I couldn’t keep up at this pace.

Not to mention my children were suffering miserably from my absence, or inability to juggle it all. Undivided time with them was rare, and typically only a few minutes. Fits were thrown, hearts were broken, and listening wasn’t even something my children did anymore. I didn’t hear their needs, why would they listen to mine?

Always on my phone because…. PEOPLE, and THINGS.

I felt constantly married to social media, because I had to be. I HAD to make this one post, and I HAD to answer this one email real quick, I HAD to create content to post. If I didn’t stay ON TOP of things, they would stay on top of me… and I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

Oh, how I was wrong.

I thought if this thing doesn’t get done, it’ll be the end of the world. People will think I’m lazy, a slacker, a waste of talent, an awful friend, and I’ll be shunned. I chased after every opportunity, and wanted EVERYONE to like me. I attempted to be in control of my own success.

HOWEVER, “Woe unto you, when all men speak well of you.” – Luke 6:26

I recently heard (the BEST) message from Levi Lusko… and it rang deep in my heart. Going to share some of my notes to encourage you ❤

“None of us should ever see ourselves as our own PR agent, it is not our job to get our name out there or open doors ourselves. Our job is to follow Jesus, and to let Him call goodness and mercy into our lives. That doesn’t mean be lazy, but let your work ethic, and faithfulness speak for itself.

Keep being faithful where you’re planted, and doing what you’re called to do. There shouldn’t be striving for a title, a name, a like, or success. Follow your calling, and trust Jesus to provide. If you’re trying to open a door that God hasn’t called you to, ain’t no body on the planet going to be able to open it.

If God has called you to something, there’s no one who can stop it from happening.”

BOOM.

I don’t think I was trying to open the wrong door, I was just pursing the wrong things. I wasn’t doing ME… I was doing everyone else.

I was being that person I was “supposed” to be… whatever that means right?! I found myself making decisions based off of a script, or a stereotype, instead of what worked for our family.

Let me be the first to tell you, being hella busy… isn’t for our family, and I don’t think God intends it for you either friend. If you’re stressed out, start saying No. If you feel like I have to always have something new going on, just chill. Go outside and BE YOU.

YOU DO YOU, Mama.

You don’t need a side project, or a “thing”… just because you’re talented, doesn’t mean NOW is the right time. Do what works for YOUR family, and stop worrying about what everyone else will think.

Shine the way you are meant to shine, and you’ll be HAPPY and unstoppable.

Yes, selling Alpine Baby Co has definitely been bittersweet. I put my literal heart + soul into that business, and KNOW without a doubt – Heather will continue the legacy in a way I couldn’t have dreamed of. I just learned the hard way that “Right now” was NOT the right time for our family… and that’s OKAY.

When God breaks your heart for something… that’s when the real calling comes.

So here I sit. A bit broken, with my new identity as full time Mom (part time photographer) in place, I’ll rest. Giving myself grace along the way while I re-learn how to TRULY be a PRESENT Mom.

How to stop chasing the wrong things, like defined success + likeability, and start chasing what truly matters… like raising up strong, independent daughters and being a kind, sexy wife. My circle has gotten smaller, and will continue to get smaller until I put everyone in their defined place. Allotting the majority of time for my immediate family, and just a few minutes for acquaintances.

My whole perspective has changed, in the most beautifully broken ways… and now my heart is prepared for all that God has planned, not what’s on my own agenda.

YOU DO YOU, Mama… and I’ll do me.